Life Shmife

Once again, I really shouldn't be blogging because I really do have a million things to do before I start school this week, but I really wanted to take a break...

I don't necessarily have many new things to say. Instead I'd like to share a few excerpts from my blog over the past couple of years. While reading them tonight, I felt like I literally went back to that time and remembered the spirit that I'd felt at various times in my life. I realize that the spirit works in so many different ways and one of them is through remembrance. I also think of how far I've come: I'm finished with college; I have a career in something that I am very passionate about; I've overcome feelings of doubts, fears, and inadequacies; I've developed better understandings of gospel principles, specifically the Atonement; I've accomplished a few of my goals and dreams; I've learned how to fully forgive; I've learned to accept others and love as Heavenly Father loves his children; I've gained more confidence in myself and more importantly in this Gospel.

On Doubt:

"Everything worth believing goes beyond everything that we can be sure about. Doubt is not healthy because it focuses on ourselves. It cuts the lifeline between us and God. Doubt is like a child because when it demands attention it demands for even more. Brother Millet challenged us to stare our doubts down and feed our faith. He gave the example of Jacob and his son and how his faith was not shaken by the anti christ. 'Doubt not, fear not.' Pray for God to banish all doubt and all fears-- God loves those prayers and He answers them."

On love:

"We had a ward fast today for Dave Chalk, a guy in my ward who has cancer. He has the most positive attitude and is so strong. I felt the tremendous love of our Heavenly Father today at church through the spirit and through the testimonies that were given. First of all, I felt His love through my bishop. He is amazing and you can feel his love radiate to each person. Imagine Heavenly Father's love for me. His love for you. His love for Dave Chalk. His tremendous love for each one of His children. I gained an even greater appreciation today for Joseph Smith and that even though he had many imperfections, he brought about so much good into this world, in fact, he restored the only true gospel to this earth. This really touched my heart today because lately I have been focusing so much on my imperfections and flaws that it was starting to eat away at the spirit. I know that despite my imperfections, I can bring much good into this world."

On meekness:

"I learned that meekness is a christ-like attribute that is essential for those who want to stay on the path of righteousness. If we are meek, then we do not get offended by others or take offense. If we are meek, then we do not get agitated easily because we are not absorbed in ourselves. Instead, we are thinking of others and loving our neighbors as God sees them instead of as objects. I guess it all comes down to what we want. Do we want happiness or do we want to be miserable? We can be happy by simply not letting ourselves get frustrated. We can be happy by developing our relationships with others and focusing on the now. We can be happy by not focusing so much on ourselves. It all comes down to what Christ would do."

On the Gospel:

"Tonight we had a fireside and they talked about how peculiar we as BYU students are in the UK. We stand out by the way act and we dress. Our standards and morals shock most of the people here. The couple missionaries said that we open the doors for the missionaries here and are so grateful to have us. I have never felt more peculiar in my life, even more than when I lived in New Orleans and was the only Mormon at a catholic school. I feel so out of place here, but I don’t feel like that at church at all. I have a ward family wherever I go. A Scottish sister read Ephesians 2:19 where it says we are no strangers or foreigners. Our differences are not so great because we have the gospel. Today was wonderful. I gained a stronger testimony of the gospel and God’s love for each of us. I felt that every thing came together for me since I saw the gospel in action in a different part of the world. I kept thinking in my head, 'There is no way the gospel is not true.'"

Love you all!